The Ultimate Fall To-Do List

Go apple picking

Get frustrated when you can’t find any pretty apples

Decide to plant your own apple tree

Change your mind about the tree thing

Rake leaves

Jump in a pile of leaves

Re-rake the leaves

Drink a pumpkin-spice latte

Wear a cable-knit sweater

Wear boots

Wear flannel

Wear an infinity scarf

Complain about how cold it is

Talk about how fall is your favorite season

Pretend to care about football to bond with that cute guy in the office

Find out he has a girlfriend; regret buying a jersey

Carve a pumpkin

Enter a pumpkin-carving contest

Smash your competitors’ pumpkins when it’s announced that you didn’t win

Artfully assemble gourds in a wicker basket

Wonder why gourds are so creepy looking

Go to a corn maze

Get lost in a corn maze

Have a panic attack in a corn maze when it’s been 25 minutes and you really feel like you’ve been walking in circles.

Bake a pie

Instagram a photo of your pie with the hashtag #luvfall

Eat the entire pie yourself and immediately feel bad about it

Burn your tongue on hot apple cider

Buy candy for trick-or-treaters

Decide that kids these days are brats and keep the candy for yourself, instead giving out the apples that you picked and have deemed too ugly for your own consumption

Make candy apples with the pretty apples

Schedule a dentist appointment

Get into a heated argument with a random passerby about canned versus homemade cranberry sauce

Decide to take up knitting

Decide knitting’s not for you

Think of a *really* clever group Halloween costume

Get *really* mad at the other group of girls at the party you’re at are wearing the exact same costume, but a little better executed.

Say you’re going to start Christmas shopping but then forget

Complain some more about how cold it is

Be totally over fall